Friday, January 2, 2009

Thinking different... redux

NOTE: Have you ever written a sermon or message and felt like you ALMOST got it but that something was missing? I've felt that all week about Sunday's message. So last night, even though I was bone tired, I found I couldn't sleep because there was something else I had to read and then write. This, as it turns out, is why my sleep was disturbed: it is the end of my Sunday sermon notes I posted on Tuesday, December 30th.

And that is the reality I think is particularly important to emphasize this morning: that many of us – I dare say all of us if we are brutally honest with ourselves – know more about the darkness than we do the light? We have far more questions about the way of the Lord than we do answers? More doubt than security – more fear than comfort and joy, too. What’s more, we have been trained to believe that our doubts and fears are signs of weakness – a failure of faith – when they are actually a deep and significant reality for us.

Small wonder that Daniel Shoemake, a bi-vocational 20-something pastor in the Minneapolis area, wrote a brilliant new blog posted on the Christian Century site this weekend in which he claims that the American church in the 21st century is living like we’re a part of a “Gilligan’s Island” world when, in fact, our reality is much more like “Lost.” (And if you don’t know these pop culture references, let THAT will be your homework for the week.) He writes:

Though the plot of Gilligan’s Island is far more plausible than that of Lost, the characters and their conflict are far less realistic in their journey. In Lost, realistic characters have realistic reactions and unrealistic scientific and phenomenal occurrences. Amazing how pop-culture has changed! The happy-go-lucky attitude of the Brady Bunch, The Gilligan Island crew and the Partridge Family is not popular in my generation of Heroes, Lost and 24. Reality strikes as oddly important, even In unrealistic situations. And here’s the point: The church attempts to thrive in a Bradyesque façade. A mentality of ‘passing the peace’ and pasting on a smile for skin-deep reflection is not connecting with incoming generations of people.

The alternative, Shoemake continues with great insight, would be to get real – own and embrace our doubts and questions – accept and even celebrate our fears. Here’s his antidote: at the start of our next worship I would stand up and say:

Good morning everybody. Before you take your seats please take a moment to tell the person to your right what went wrong with you this week – and don’t hold back. And when you receive this unfortunate news, person on the left, make plans this week to assist the person on your right in attending to this conflict before the week ends. Oh, and if you don’t, please don’t come back.” (Congregation pulls out their phones) I believe this type of interaction gets down to the “nitty gritty” of what the church is about – people. The church is not about checkbooks, mission trips, the building fund (and the building itself) or the sermon. Church is the raw interactions of people. We share in the phenomenal story of a god-man and must begin to unfold in this rising storyline.
NOTE: for the whole posting, go to this link - you will be glad you did - and thanks, Dan, for your ok: http://theophiliacs.com/
L. Gregory Jones, Dean of the Divinity School at Duke University, says that until the time comes when the Church in America gets real – owns and embraces its doubts and freely willing opens the door of serious intellectual inquiry – then the atheists and agnostics will continue to win the day. He asks: How have we Christians so eviscerated the story of the Triune God in practice and intellectual articulation that (contemporary public atheists like Julian Barnes, Richard Dawkins and Christopher Hitchens) can deem it a relic?”

His answer is much like Shoemake's: What would it be like if we Christians in the West became passionately, intellectually and practically committed again to Christian communities (that is local faith communities with flesh and blood people) that were fully rooted in the story of the Triune God and to cultivating vibrant institutions that supported these local communities?

In other words, what would happen if we started with our real and broken lives – our fears and questions – our doubts? What would happen if we clearly understood that the world is much more like “Lost” and “24” than “Gilligan’s Island?” And that, dear people, is why our new mission and vision statement begins with a call to reflection on our Christian faith:

+ We believe that our mind, bodies and heart matter to God.
+ We trust that God is big enough to handle our questions.
+ And we seek to live is such a way that we can support one another in times of need and encourage one another in times of doubt.

For all of us have tasted a love greater than ourselves – glimpsed a light within the darkness – been lifted up and encouraged when you could not make it all by yourself - and so we go on. We’ll gather back in here after worship ends for a time of conversation and more questions - a chance for some dialogue, too - but let’s sing a new affirmation of faith and doubt together as the conclusion to this portion of worship:

Longing for light, we wait in darkness, longing for truth we turn to you
Make us your own, your loving people: light for the world to see
Christ be our light, sing in our hearts, shine in our darkness
Christ be our light: shine in your church gathered today.

14 comments:

Anonymous said...

Exactly! Brilliant and spot on BUT I'm sure you know that getting people to the point of such unabashed honesty is way more complicated than telling them to do it. Even younger folks who claim to have disassociated with the church because of its Gilligan's Island mentality don't seem capable of such brutally honest soul baring. The question is how do we, as the church, get there? Any suggestions?

Anonymous said...

I believe the ends justify the means. If we believe Gilligan's Island is true church, continue. However (and I am saying this brashly) if one believes 'soul bearing' is what one needs to "be" church ... do what it takes to get there. It may cost people, comfort and political stature, but what else would make it a reformation?

If I may, RJ, I would like to link the post for your viewer's accessibility.
http://theophiliacs.com/2009/01/02/it%E2%80%99s-the-end-of-the-church-as-we-know-it-%E2%80%93-and-i-feel-fine/

Dan

RJ said...

Thanks, Sally. Yeah it is painfully hard to work with existing congregations who have been trained in the Gilligan's Island mode of church. And yet... and yet I think there are at least a few ways we can break this down and offer a more satisfying way of being community. 1) It is critical to use the creative arts so that people can start making body/mind connections -feeling the truth - and then having times to talk about this in small groups. (I have used film and music in this way and will soon be doing an experiment with children's photographs.)

2) Pushing the envelope to change what we do at church meetings: minimizing "business" and devoting most of our time together to prayer and conversation. Study, too.

3) Leadership retreats that allow all the committed to finding a new level of trust and cooperation.

4) Being transparent and real as we preach... and cultivating an honest relationship with Christ in prayer.

Well, if you'd like, we could email some of the things I have found to work on this - not all work in other settings - and see what you have discovered, too? Keep me posted.

RJ said...

Dan I would love if you would make the link happen. I am really grateful for your insightful words. I am with you completely re: reformation in this new context. Keep me posted, ok?

Anonymous said...

Then congregations trained in the Gilligan's Island mode of church should have an easy time singing "Amazing Grace"--to the Gilligan's Island theme song.
Try it! 8-)

RJ said...

You are right... that's a lot of fun. I've heard it done to "Stairway to Heaven" too!

Peter said...

I may be reading you incorrectly, but there is another way to look at church within the difference between Gilligan's Island and Lost, and that has to do with why people go to church and what they hope to find there.

Personally, RJ, I would walk out of the church you propose and probably not return. This is because I am already, daily, on the front lines of 'reality'. I live "Lost" five days a week on my job, and what I need when I'm away from it is recharging and rebooting. In a sense, being in a Gilligan's Island space for a short time in fellowship is close to what I need to go back to "Lost" more or less in one piece.

From what I have learned being a minister's husband, everyone lives "Lost" five-seven days a week. There are harrowing stores behind the faces of "ordinary" people, and I wonder if they, too, come to church angry, confused, in need, desperate, grieving. And they need, I suggest, a space where there is peace and it may be passed to them. Where the things that go bump in the day, the "hawks of the morning" (from that brilliant modern folk tune John O'Dreams) can't find them for a while.

Church as sanctuary. Not a bad concept.

As to baring one's soul and addressing reality, I don't say no to that--I think it would represent a good balance along with the sanctuary concept. How to do that is as yet an unanswered question.

Of one thing I am sure: there will be no such honesty until there is a vital community created, with immense loads of trust. That will take a lot more time than we feel we have. But if we don't take that time, we will wind up with a church that operates in the spirit of the old '60s slogan: Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.

RJ said...

Very helpful balance, Pete... and you know, as I have been letting this Gilligan/Lost split sink in there are two caveats I would add - and I think they have something to do with age, patience, grace appreciation of me not knowing where anybody else is: 1) not everybody wants to share nor can they at any one given time; they/we need space and trust first.
2) your point re: sanctuary as balance is very, very important, too. Thanks for taking the time to push me on that one. I think it is a both/and rather than either/or yes?

Peter said...

Not a problem, my man. Balance is the key word: I have read enough to know that you have your head screwed on right and your heart in the right place. Very important prerequisites, indeed! :-D

I would say that there is a place for opening up, and that is the small group. The collective worship experience, as varied as it may be (and needs more thereof, as we've said before!), is what I was primarily addressing as I read it in your initial words. This is what I call the "safe" place, but even then, a qualified "safe" place: a dynamic balance between the sanctuary concept and the welcoming of reality, and frankly, I doubt that any religion has quite got that one right.

My response arises from a personal discovery I made after i was immersed in my present job teaching adult literacy. When I went to church, I found that what i had encountered before, exhortations to work for justice, etc, etc., now felt like being hit over the head with what I already knew. Furthermore, the liturgy, essentially unchanged in maybe 8 or 9 decades, no longer nourished, especially the music (which is where we meet on the road to Emmaus, so to speak). That experience informed and fueled my response. I still haven't found what I'm looking for in a church that nourishes and challenges, both, but I haven't stopped looking.

Dan's dichotomy is useful, agreed--it's, shall we say, a colourful metaphor and illuminates a genuine problem. I won't address that here, but I would say, after 2 decades+ as a minister's husband, there is always the profound question of why people go to church (what they are looking for), and what we in the places of sharing hope they will take away with them. And there is no way to "idiot-proof" a service, a song, a lection, or a sermon/message. People will take from these according to their prejudices and limitations and strengths (we hope) and that always-hoped-for moment of illumination, when something cuts through the aforementioned limits and behold! something new happens.

Thanks for your thoughtful and energizing words, James: it is a privilege to know you,

Peter (Black Pete)

RJ said...

This has been the most helpful posting for me professionally yet. Thank you everyone... more to come I am sure!

RJ said...

Hey Peter: thanks for your extended comment on my blog re: Gilligan's Island/Lost. Your words added balance - which I briefly reflected on in my first response but which needs more depth. So... First, I totally get and affirm that most of us are the walking wounded living with stress and pain that is not visible on the surface. Me, too... and I am not at all interested in adding more anguish. I hope you know that. Second, Dan's dichotomy, however, is still very useful - albeit more brash than my taste goes for (most of the time.) Still he gets at one of the fundamental differences in generations: how can we be more than "nice" - that is, real and deep and compassionate - while creating safe space from the pain of living? I have wrestled with that most of my professional ministry - and I think it takes time, prayer, lots of practice and lots of modeling - to say nothing of small groups committed to making it all real.

And then, third, there is the wisdom to let people be where they are - the 12 Step understanding that when change/healing is really needed they will be open - rather like when the student is ready, the Buddha will appear. At any rate, the passion of your words and your concern touched me and I wanted to reply in greater depth. Many thanks...

Luke said...

"The church attempts to thrive in a Bradyesque façade. A mentality of ‘passing the peace’ and pasting on a smile for skin-deep reflection is not connecting with incoming generations of people."

HELL YEAH! i've been saying this for... ugh.. too long! you put it into words brilliantly!

as Sally asked, and a VERY important question, is "how do we get there?"

my answer would be "very slowly". a quick way would be to get your church members on a plane and crash it on a mysterious island... BUT in reality, just saying "i don't know, let's find out together" in Bible Studies and such goes a long way in opening the door to wonderful paths of explorations.

we make the road by walking. let's pave the road with honesty.

RAWK!

RJ said...

Again, you guys are so wise and caring and helpful. Thank you from my heart.

Dianne said...

My fist reaction to the idea of having everyone turn to the person on their left and tell them what's gone wrong in the past week, etc., was, "Oh God, no!" because my experience as a lifelong churchgoer and longtime pastor's wife and pastor's sister (x3) is that there are too many people suffering from learned helplessness and other challenges who come to church precisely to dump their problems on someone else and be taken care of. And the problems are boundless! So I would have to know that there are VERY HEALTHY BOUNDARIES in place to protect the competent in the community from exploitation by the "professional needers." That's one of those realities that feels un-Christian to say but is very real, and I don't think it IS un-Christian. Is it?

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