Taking stock and giving thanks...

I visited with one of my staff today - in the hospital - and we took stock and gave thanks for the life that remains. It is not yet clear how much time she still has; right before Easter she was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. After the initial shock and sadness, she responded really well to the treatments and throughout the summer, life was good. She returned to teaching in the fall but has been having more and more complications as the winter dawns.

She was on the search committee that brought me to Pittsfield from Arizona and has been a friend, colleague and helper as we share hope and commitment with our young people and children. And now she is getting weaker...

As we sat and talked - and wept and prayed - it is clear that none of this is fair or really makes any sense. Will there be another Thanksgiving? Christmas? Not at all clear... just that we have this moment to be real and loving and open to the fullness of our lives. One of my favorite profs once said to me that we really have to know how to be with our people when they ask "why" - knowing full well that there isn't any good answer - and while I have a deep understanding of where God is in agonizing moments like this, all I can do is hold my friend's hand and weep with them. Words just don't cut it. Later, talking with my secretary, I found myself remembering my sister, Linda, who died of cancer 17 years ago... and my mother who died three years ago. Then she spoke of her father's death from cancer and as more tears came we stopped and just sat in the sad silence together.

So, as I get ready to share an evening of American music, art and poetry with our new faith community and the wider town, I want to dedicate our work tonight to my friend: she is a person of faith and grace and a blessing to so many of us. Made me think of this old song by the Cranberries...

This ancient prayer always come back to me in moments like this:

Lord Jesus Christ, by your patience in suffering, you hallowed earthly pain and gave us an example of obedience to God's will: be near to me in my time of weakness and pain; sustain me by your grace, that my strength and courage may not fail; heal me according to your will, for you are my Lord and my God. Amen.